My dog took advantage of my depression. [Discussion]Dog Talks

About 6 months ago, my boyfriend and I took in a dog.

We drove 45 minutes away to get him. I knew nothing about his personality and temperament, and the people who were rehoming him didn’t speak English. They handed us a 50 lb bag of food, the leash, and we loaded him into my car. I only knew he was around 6 months old, and that he was a husky German Shepard mix. On the way home he was terrified, and I was too. He growled and lunged at me several times and I was already questioning what I had gotten into. When we got back to our apartment, my boyfriend and I coaxed him out of the car, and from that moment on, he was ours. We named him Poro, a reference from our favorite video game. He quickly grew to trust us, and we learned that he was a very smart dog, probably thanks to his breed. Our first time walking him was... hard. It was clear that he had never been on a leash before, or at least, he had never NOT pulled on a leash before. I’m 100 pounds and he was almost 60. All that was pure muscle.

Slowly, I taught him how to walk on a leash; or at least made it manageable. My boyfriend works during the days, so it was just me and Poro. He was lovey and cuddly, but very untrained and badly socialized. His previous owners had done almost no training; at least, none that stuck. We suspect he was abused, because he has a high aversion to new people. He flinches when you move too fast. Unfortunately, that frustration and underconfidence went unchecked, and I was partially responsible.

We had a guest over and we tried to introduce her to Poro. She gave him a treat. He calmed down for a few seconds, and then the moment we let go of his collar, he lunged at her hand and bit her, breaking skin. We immediately grabbed him and put him away. Luckily for us, she was very understanding, but seeing him act so territorial and “aggressive” made us very scared, and I was now terrified to walk him or take him out, in fear of him biting someone and me being held responsible. I was selfish. For the past four months, I was in a very hard spot. I couldn’t take care of myself, nonetheless a dog of his behavior. In fact, Poro started to stress me out, and I felt angry towards him. I had no patience. This was obviously just a projection of my own depression, which I didn’t understand at the time. My boyfriend did the best he knew how to do in taking care of Poro, and I appreciate it immensely. Recently, I’ve started taking medication for depression and it’s helped me tremendously. However, our dog was out of control, and it was almost all my fault. He was constantly tearing holes in my mattress, jumping, and biting at my boyfriend and I’s arms. I would always get frustrated with him because I couldn’t handle him. If we told him to stop doing something, he would get frustrated with us and bite. Walking him again was hell, he would lunge at everything that moved, and I would have to avoid all people in fear of him biting.

Slowly, as I started feeling better, I started reflecting on how I was taking care of Poro. When I was up at 3 A.M because of insomnia, I would start to watch dog training videos out of curiosity. I started to grow the confidence to retry things with him. About a week ago, I purchased a basket muzzle and traded in my retractable leash for a long, thick lead. I began training him to tolerate the muzzle, and then one day, I brought Poro out to the park for a walk with the muzzle on. I still was unsure, but I felt a lot safer with that bite protection. It went... surprisingly okay. I continued to watch videos overnight and learned that a lot of his behavior issues stemmed from my lack of assertiveness. I really put my foot down and to my surprise, he listened. No more biting, and no more uncontrollable behavior.

Last night was the turning point in my mind. I watched more videos, and I came across one about a protective German Shepard. The trainer talked about how he needed to train people, and rehabilitate dogs. He focused on the psychology of their brains, rather then how to physically correct them. It really clicked with me when he talked about how our expectations of their behavior affects how they act. I realized that I had been doing that for months; and Poro was subconsciously picking up on my fear and frustration and reacting according to that.

Today, I put his muzzle and lead on, and brought him out to the park again. I had no fear. I kept him on a short tether and made him heel several times. He sat every time I asked, even without me applying pressure or having to correct him. When we got to the park, I sat on a bench next to the playground. I got him to sit on the ground next to me, and gave him a treat for it. I looked up at the sky, and it was very pretty and blue. I set there and reflected on how irresponsible I had become. I had a high energy and high prey drive dog, and it made sense that he acted out when I couldn’t handle it. It was my first time owning a dog. It was my fault, and I accepted it, and let it go. It was the first time I felt okay in a long while.

Poro and I sat and watched the little ones play. I overheard a father swinging his little boy on the swing set; he asked the kid what color the dog was and I smiled. We went on to walk past a little white dog and it’s owner, who was about 15 feet away. Of course, Poro got excited and lunged, but I immediately corrected him with a firm Uh-Uh, and he stopped. I almost cried. I didn’t feel out of control and helpless with my own dog. We walked past many more people, and I walked with confidence. It made all the difference.

Poro still barked a bit, and showed some guarding tendencies, but it was such a pivotal day in both of our lives. It felt nice to hold myself accountable for once.

In three days, my boyfriend and I are moving back to Florida. I’m staying with my family while I look for a house, and Poro will have acres of backyard to run around, and two other friends to play with. I’ve been feverishly researching how to introduce them properly, and I even spoke to my family about all that they could do to set Poro up for success.

Four months ago, I couldn’t even advocate for myself, nonetheless a huge, powerful dog. Now, I’m doing both.

And yes, it feels great.

Submitted November 13, 2020 at 12:18AM by unethreal https://ift.tt/2K7Ajyt