[Fluff] As I face my dog's mortality, I don't know how I'm going to handle the loss.Dog Talks

So my dog was diagnosed as diabetic 6 months ago. He had been doing fine with his treatment. Then a few weeks ago ended up hospitalized with a bout of pancreatitis. He seemed to have recovered.

Today, again, he doesn't feel well and doesn't want breakfast. Taking a wait and see approach and hoping it doesn't escalate.

He is only 8, and could live another 8 years even with the diabetes. However I am terrified that I simply can't afford repeated hospitalizations. His first one ran over $4000. No insurance company will cover him now.

It's only been 3 weeks since his hospitalization and he's not feeling well again. I have no choice but to do my best to care for him and hope he recovers on his own. I believe he will.. this time. He's active and happy. Just not eating right now. A vet won't really do anything different I've learned.

That said, I know the day will come when I will have to say goodbye. I haven't lost a dog since I was in college and away from home. She died with my father by her side of old age. No known illness to speak of. She was 17. I was sad but being away maybe it wasn't as real to me. Like she was already gone. I feel bad thinking that way.

I had other dogs with my ex husband, but both were rehomed because he didn't want to deal with them. Even my cats went to my brother. He was not an animal lover at all and well... it was for the best that they find a better home.

I didn't have another dog until 7 years ago when, with my current husband, we decided to adopt Joey. That one dog turned to four.

But now, as I ponder Joey's illness, knowing one day he will be too sick to go on, I'm heartbroken. It could happen in under a year. It could happen 8 years from now. But it will happen. Just the mere thought of having to help him cross the rainbow bridge tears me up inside. To be the one to make that decision for him. I just can't fathom it.

I'd much prefer he go peacefully in his sleep of old age like my childhood dog did. Maybe then it won't hurt so much.

Submitted October 22, 2020 at 03:45PM by butterflypup https://ift.tt/3meHeDx